My name is Paul, and I am a flight attendant working for a Canadian airline. I love flying so much that I used to be away from home working almost 20 days a month. But now, I’m grounded. No more fancy layovers, no more working with people, no more take offs and landings, no more flying. Zero.
This has been such a big part and focus of my life. Now this being taken away from me makes me feel extremely empty and lost. Living by myself probably makes it worse, as I wasn’t allowed and shouldn’t be seeing friends and family or even making non-essential trips outside of home due to governmental regulations. Not talking to a single living person (FaceTime is still really different) makes me feel obviously lonely and sometimes repressed. I remember telling my sister several times that I’d probably get depression if I’m locked completely in my house and I am not even trying to be funny.
I have been trying to keep myself busy over the past few weeks, but it isn’t easy given the current crisis. There aren’t a lot of job opportunities at the meantime and a lot if not all of schools and agencies are shut down due to the virus. I feel helpless sometimes but have to constantly remind myself that this would be over one day and I just have to be more patient. However since most of my peers and family are still in Taiwan, seeing them continue to go on with their lives as usual (Shout out to the Taiwanese government!!) does give me a very complicated feeling, as I feel like I’m the only one wasting time, passively waiting for all this to be over.
I consider myself as an independent and emotionally strong person. I personally and already find it really hard at this time so I couldn’t even imagine what it’s like for others who are not mentally as tough as I am. I do hope that sharing this would let more and more people know that you are not alone and we are all in this together.
And of course, Kudos and Thank you to all the frontline medical and healthcare workers. You guys are the best. Hope that we will all get out of this soon, and I’ll see you in the friendly skies one day.